pro-tip: if you're not going to touch up your roots until they're like six inches long, don't fucking dye your hair blond.
I HAVE TO LOOK AT THAT SHIT!!!!
October 2009
i passed up a gay halloween party to be here. do you know how fun gay halloween parties are? last year i saw three jonas brothers makeout with three robert pattinsons. it was amazing.
(via wolphcubz)
“What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he’s the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.”
—Dwight Schrute on the perfect crime (via crabcakes) (via wolphcubz) (via stolensilver) (via salvations)
everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up
setyourgoals:(via revolutions)
WORLD'S WORST LOVERS →
telegraph.co.uk
Holla, no Italians on this list!1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)What do I do with this?
Play
“I don’t talk like House, or walk like him. I certainly don’t think like him. I don’t like to think for more than 15 minutes at a stretch actually; I am a fragile flower.”
—Hugh Laurie (via fuckyeahhousemd)
if you're the kind of person who enjoys math, i have no interest in your friendship.
(via wolphcubz)
so think back to when you were 11 and didn't really have internet
I was on the internet. :(((1991:
what did you do all day jw
i had internet when i was 11
i was on myspace all day when i was 11 lol
I was on the internet tho lol, I was in hp boards. myspace didn’t exist when I was 11 lol
jc you guys i didn’t have internet at home until the beginning of grade 10
holy shit
i have no idea
though i did play a lot of MS-DOS games back in the day. fuckin oldschool.
i've recently decided to say fuck you to life. it's mine and i'm going to have fun with it.
i should do this.setyourgoals:(via csws)
“i love when people ask, “who are you to judge?”
i think it might be the most ridiculous question of all time. im me, motherfucker. i get to judge whoever i want. its awesome, they’re called OPINIONS” —Christopher Gutierrez (via weareinvincible) (via fuckyeahheychris) (via thirtyrockefeller) (via trapeze) (via igniteus) (via feverwords) (via wolphcubz)
i think it might be the most ridiculous question of all time. im me, motherfucker. i get to judge whoever i want. its awesome, they’re called OPINIONS” —Christopher Gutierrez (via weareinvincible) (via fuckyeahheychris) (via thirtyrockefeller) (via trapeze) (via igniteus) (via feverwords) (via wolphcubz)
fbrt is deleted because alex deleon is trying to take "legal action" against one of the mods.
idk which one, but apparently he has an uncle or cousin or something who is an attorney, and he’s tired of being “harassed”.
lol
“I’m not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.”
—Jon Stewart (via unpunk)
if someone wrote stories about me fucking another man i know that i'd be flattered.
(via wolphcubz)
