cracking wise

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First, sex positivity is not for you or men like you. Sex positivity is for marginalised groups to reclaim their sexuality. We live in a society that caters to your desires, and creates crushing stereotypes for everyone else that gets us violently sexually assaulted and killed. I first have to make it clear the critique to be made of porn is solely political, not moral grounds. Sex is not wrong, or nasty, or shameful, or dirty. Sexual desires are not immoral. The eroticisation (as found in sexual cultures such as BDSM) of systems of domination and submission is not morally wrong. Telling sex workers they are “morally wrong” or “dirty” is sexist as fuck. What I’m saying is that you cannot ignore the abuse of women within the sex industry.

That is what is happening under the umbrella of sex positivity. An individual’s ‘agency’ trumps social factors/impacts. This immediately frames the debate in individual terms, isolated from any greater ideology or impact. But in terms of your individual, private, sex life, is it really fair to say that, for example, pornography is something that is individual and private? Or would it be fair to say that pornography is a cultural, social phenomenon that exists as it does today within a particular framework of domination, subordination, sexism, and violence? I think we could all agree that pornography has influenced our perceptions of women and of men, of femininity and masculinity and, of course, of sex and sexuality, as a society, as well as individuals. Turning this into a conversation about individual likes and dislikes completely misses the point.

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