manilaryce: George Carlin - Fuck Lance Armstrong
…. calling it as he saw it, his filter was amazing
"
People say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. ‘For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.’
If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen.
They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.’
So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.’
"George Carlin, Brain Droppings (via liquidnight)
Mmmm sleeeep
(via lovelystubbornbrave)
(via fake-it-real)
"Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked."
George Carlin (via cliffordcorrupt, dougstumblr) (via insignifi-cunt) (via killasal) (via ninth-wave) (via loureedsbitch) (via the-madame-hatter)
favorite quote by him. Will never stop reblogging it.
(via feministslut)
(via cocknbull)
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here. Like… the public."
(Source: marco, via capriquarius)
George Carlin
Thanks, On-Reflection.
A classic from Carlin. “If you’re pre-born, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”
So much love for George Carlin.