02 11 / 2010
"If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, “God, I’ve got to get my rocks off”, or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush. ‘It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it… I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man, which is what they want. Of course, a lot of women will deny this and say, “Oh no, but I love sex, I love it!” But do they go around having it the way that gay men do?"
Oh, Stephen Fry, Stephen, Stephen. I think you need to look at your life and your choices.
There are three valid reasons women wouldn’t have sex as men do that have nothing to do with sex drive:
Rape culture. There’s a 1 in 4 chance that a woman will be victimized in her lifetime. A fear of men not respecting their limits means that women are far less likely to cruise in a truck stop or a Craigslist casual encounter than, say, a gay man.
Slut shaming. The social risks of men pursuing sex? Virtually zip, unless they’re married. The social risks of a woman pursuing sex? All of them. She can lose her reputation, professional standing, friendships, and family approval. Those aren’t social costs that an aching cunt is going to override.
A self-fulfilling prophecy. Why are the Steve Harveys and Dr. Phils and Dr. Lauras of the world working so hard to convince us that women “aren’t visual” and aren’t inherently lustful and are just So, So Different from the mens? Could it have anything to do with the fact that so-called biological gender differences are incredibly far and few between and the scientific reification of gender differences has a serious political agenda behind its half-baked conclusions?
When gay men can get pregnant we can maybe make this comparison.
10 4 / 2010